Ain't No Cure for the Off-Season Blues...

I mean, it's really dull, isn't it, when the season is over, and only the exhibition events can provide some kind, *any* kind, of comfort, tenuous and ephemeral as that may be.

You could finally catch up on all that TV you've been putting off.  Of course, all your normal, non-tennis-obsessive friends, assuming you have any left, have already watched it all and have no interest in discussing it with you now, tragically out of the loop as you are.

You could organise your life, at last.  Plan all those New Year's resolutions and make bold, paradigm-shifting plans for how next year will be productive, sensational and somehow still full of tennis.  Even though you know that it will fall at an early hurdle - definitely the Australian Open all-nighters, if not Sydney, Auckland, and Brisbane.  Hell, it might even all fall apart *before* the New Year if you're really into the Hopman cup.  As of course, you are.

You could go out, socialise, see oft-neglected people and do amazing things around town.  Finally, take in a show, see that exhibition at the gallery, go to that restaurant you heard great things about.  Finally, catch up with dear Bettina and Algernon, who have the disconcerting habit of calling when a good match is on, or inviting you to events smack bang in the middle of a Grand Slam when your attention absolutely must not be diverted, and as such normally get relegated to 'later, darling' fob-offs, which they take with more good grace than you really deserve.  Although, with Christmas coming you're bound to have your fill of people, places and forced geniality, so maybe it's better to keep that powder dry?

But if all that sounds exhausting, or pointless, or just not fun enough, I suggest you do what I do.  Go on YouTube and get stuck in tennis loops for hours on end.  Remind yourself of old matches you never got to see, or haven't thought of in years.  Or see some players from the days of yore, that plied their divine trade when you were just a twinkle in your father's eye.  Or watch funny interviews, or press conferences that are often more memorable than the match that generated them.  Go read up on some tennis history, brush up on your trivia. If you don't know who won the ladies doubles at the 1958 Wimbledon tournament*, why on Earth not?  Rectify it immediately!  Become an even greater tennis bore.  In for a lob, in for a smash, I say!

It's not a cure for those off-season blues, but it's better than going cold turkey, any day.  Rage, rage against the dying of the light!

*It was Maria Bueno and Althea Gibson